– Josh Olewiler

Destination: Dirt.
Useless, worthless, unblessed earth.
An unfitting end.

Oh, sweet Adventure,
How you have forsaken me
With this curse of life.
To die valiantly

In the jaws of a lion
Or drown in quicksand.
That such a proud fate were mine!
Instead doomed am I to live.

And for what purpose?
I have climbed all the mountains
And plumbed all oceans.

The globe is barren.
Ev’ry speck has been explored.
So what’s left for me?

Nothing remains but
Wanton wonders of the world.

Kilamanjaro
But a flat-topped hill with a
Ghostly receding hairline.

Egyptian deserts?
You shall find nothing left of
Riddling sphinxes.

Sacred tombs stripped bare
By the archaeologists’
Greedy latex gloves.

Pyramids serene,
Their calm majesty defiled
By boorish tourists,
Crawling into ev’ry nook.
Mindless little cockroaches.

Hunting koala,
Those fuzzy banshees of Oz,
Is trendy no more.

Skinny-dipping in
Piranha-infested streams
Of the Amazon.

Panda wrestling.
Even elephant tipping.
All are forbidden.

But why the hell should I care?
Let them try to impede me!

Such pointless edicts—
Who placed the whip in their hands?
I shall take it back.

To unleash the world.
A global extrication.
Such bewonderment!

Charged to bring ruin,
Chaos, glorious chaos,
Where men can roam free

Unhindered by laws, rules, writ,
And I know who will help me.